Saturday, February 25, 2006

Friday, February 24, 2006

Blood Bank and not listening

Friday, It started all wrong. Debbie and I both got up early. She started to talk to me about what's going on with her job. I was just a jerk and didn't want to listen. So we got into a little fight and she left mad. I almost immediately regretted it. I need to be alittle more available for my wife to vent to me about what is important to her. I had an appointment at the San Bernardino Blood Bank for apheresis. They take my platelets and return the rest of my blood. It went quick, only about 90 minutes. We I was done, I was really tired. It really seems to take alot out of me. I was ready to go home and go right to sleep. A good nap would have been nice. Debbie had made dinner plans for us with a few of her friends from work. We meet everyone at the Mill Creek Cattle Company in Mentone for dinner. It is a big BBQ place with some pretty good food. I think I do better BBQ though. So it was a nice dinner and we all chatted. They do give you a great deal of food and we all took food home. Kevin one of Debbie's friends husbands was there so he and I talked most of the night. He's also into computers and like to talk about stuff. After dinner it was late so I went home and went right too sleep.

3rd Grade GATE and AA Meeting

Thursday, I went back to Honey Hollow Elementary School, to teach a 3rd grade GATE class. I started teaching 9 years ago at Honey Hollow and it really brought back some really good memories. It was nice to see kids playing on the playground, running and laughing. It was always pleasant to start the day seeing such fun. The school day went fine, but I am glad that I made the switch to Middle School. I think it better fits my personality. After school I went to have dinner with my friends from AA. I've missed a few meetings in the last month and need to be more regular, but things happen. It was a nice meeting. I talked about Dwayne's death. I felt better after that. It had been bothering me since I found out. I'm glad I got that out. I'm lucky to have people to talk to in AA.

Wednesday

I really didn't do much today. I played SWAT-4 online and messed around the house. It was a nice day. I thought about the last two days and how nice they've been. I talked to my friend Jack, and we had dinner together at Marlas, here in Beaumont. It was nice to see him and get to talk. I really like Jack, he's my best friend. I'm lucky he only lives about 10 minutes away, and I get to see him alot. I remember years ago when I was going to the Police Academy, a person I knew was talking about how he'd been lucky to see his best friend during the weekend. I didn't understand why he thought it was a big deal. Now as time has gone, on and things just seem to pile up. I understand how much I value the time I get to spend with my friends.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A nice day with an old friend

  • I spent today with an old friend, Tim Brown. I've known Tim for over twenty years. He'd come in from Grand Junction, Colorado for Dwayne's funeral and had delivered the eulogy. It was nice to spend the day with him. I picked him up at his Mom's house in Riverside. He and I stopped at Riverside Community College, both of us had worked at the college in the past as Police Officers. We talked to a few people, but no one had stayed at the college police department long enough to remember us. It had been almost 20 years ago when I worked there and then only part-time. We had lunch at Spaghetti Factory in Riverside, it was a pretty good meal. We talked about old times, both good and bad. I really miss Tom alot, as I said in my prior post. It was really nice to spend time with such a close and good friend. Things have changed for me and I wish he'd been around to share the last few years, they've been the best times I've every had. My life has really solidified. I have everything I've ever though possible. I don't get the feeling that things are as good for Tim. After lunch we stopped at Starbucks in the University Village. I think it brought back both good and bad memories for both of us. Just sitting drinking coffee and talking about how life was and how it is today. A friend, Ryan saw us and stopped by. I think it was good since it lightened the tone and Ryan is really a nice person. After awhile we all had to leave. I dropped off Tim and felt pretty bad to have our visit cut short, but I had to get home and he had other things to do. I really felt like I could have spent all night talking to him, we have so much in common. As I write this a few days later, I have to smile and remember how nice it is too have such a good friend for over twenty years. I really think I'm fortunate to have such a full life with close friends, like Tim and Jack. I don't know what I would have done all these years without the support and love they've given me. I hope that I've been equally a good friend to them.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Neighborhood Watch Meeting

Tonight, Debbie and I had a Neighborhood Watch kick off meeting. Two neighbors, Penny and Rick, volunteered to be block captains. They are going to do most the work and I'll be helping out.
A representative from the Beaumont Police Department came by and did a presentation. I think our first meeting was a success.

Later Monday, after the funeral.

I got to Mountain View Cemetery and Chapel a little early for Dwayne Bell's funeral. I saw my friend, Tim Brown, who drove in last night from Grand Junction, Colorado. It was nice to see Tim. I hadn't seen him for at least 10 years. It's been along time and for awhile he'd been my best friend. I guess we've grown apart since we live so far away from each other. I really miss not having him around. Tim has always been so understanding of my frailties and what I see as my short comings. He's never really made me feel bad. We share alot of the same things. We've both had our ups and downs, really been in the dumps, and yet we've made it this far. These last few years have been, for the most part, very good for me - with a wonderful wife and a great daughter. Plenty of material things and in many ways more then what I ever thought possible for me. I just have a feeling that for Tim it hasn't been so easy. Still he smiles and always seems content. I really admire that about him. I know today was hard for him to give the eulogy and in away it was difficult to see a person take things so far, as to kill themselves, leaving behind a wife, 16 year old son, 14 year old daughter and what most people would think as a really full life. What a waste! I wish Dwayne would have talked to some one and gotten some help, but alcoholism has a way of bringing a person down. It makes it so that you can't see a way out. I guess Dwayne found his way out.

God Bless Him

Funeral

Today I am going to a funeral for a person I haven't seen in a longtime. I'm really not going because I really was close to that person but because a longtime friend, Tim, is in town and I'd like to see him. Dwayne killed himself last week. I guess he'd struggled with alcoholism for along time.

Gitarama Orphanage


Gitarama Orphanage
Originally uploaded by camera_rwanda.
Orphanage for handicapped children.
Gitarama, Rwanda. Afrika.
June, 2005. A reminder of why I am a very fortunate person. Something I that I need to remember when things aren't going well for me.

Sunday

It was a mess of a day. I still feel sick. I got into a fight with Debbie, and said a few things I shouldn't have. Britty and Debbie left and went to the movies all day. I just sat, angry at myself, for allowing my anger to get the better of me, and trying to figure out how everything just went so sour so quickly. I'm frustrated when they just lay around all day watching TV. It just seems like there is so much to do around here, and nothing is getting done. I just don't understand how they can just sit on the couch all day long, watching TV and doing nothing. Maybe, it's not my place to say a thing about what they do. Maybe, I should just shut-up about it and worry about what I do, and not concern myself with the actions of others. I really need to work on this anger problem and what eats away at me. I just feel so resentful towards them. I need to get over it. I know it's not Britty's fault, it's just between Debbie and I.

My Blog

I don't think I can repair the damage I've done to my old blog. I'm just going to start a new blog, with a new look. You can access the old blog from the links on this page. I actually like the new look. I might have been able to manually enter all the old data to a new blog, but with over two years of daily posting, that would have been a massive job, that I just don't want to do. Post your comments regarding the new look.

Saturday

I was still feeling sick, but I went to church any way. I was disappointed that Debbie and Britty didn't attend, but I guess it's not my concern. When I got home, Debbie and I went to Redlands to pick-up some dog food. We also stopped by Starbucks for some coffee, Barnes and Noble for a couple magazines and Bed, Bath, and Beyond to window shop. The rest of the day Debbie and Britty watched TV. I disappeared into my computer room. I don't think that's a good thing for us to do. I'd rather we do something together. I feel alittle left out of the loop. Maybe that's my fault. I'll have to try to work on that. I played alot of SWAT-4 and went to sleep.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Check the links on the side

You'll find a link to my old blog. That is until I figure out how to get this problem fixed.

Massive Blog Failure

Everything was not lost, except my serenity. Now I just need to find out how to install my back-up. I'm really not looking foreward to this.