Saturday, April 20, 2019

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Ups and downs

Today has had its ups and downs.  Work has been a got mess lately and as a teacher I've been less than stellar.  Izzy was scheduled to come home and then that wasn't going to happen.  We just now got word that she is going to be home tonight if everything goes well. My Mom is out of the hospital and at home.  Which is also good news. 

Sunday, April 14, 2019

Chinese Formula 1,000 Grand Prix

It has been an exciting race so far although my favorite Daniel Ricardo has not done quite as well as I would have liked.  I like the fact that he is a regular guy and really funny.  He’s also pretty fast.  As far as the top runners, I’d have to take Vettel and Ferrari. He is a German and the Prancing Horse, Ferrari is just too cool.

SHANGHAI, CHINA - APRIL 14: Lewis Hamilton of Great Britain driving the (44) Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team Mercedes W10 on track during the F1 Grand Prix of China at Shanghai International Circuit on April 14, 2019 in Shanghai, China. (Photo by Dan Istitene/Getty Images)

Saturday, April 13, 2019

I've forgotten how to laugh and have fun.

I’ve been depressed for so long it’s as if I’ve forgotten how to have fun and laugh.  It’s not that people haven’t seen me laugh lately, but it’s always a mask concealing how sad I really feel.  With all that is going on in my life this and other things have made is very hard to feel very good about myself and feel very vauable or loved.  I know that’s not the case, but I have the feeling.  Sometimes I try to buy happiness other times it’s more difficult and I just retreat into myself.  I didn’t want to take medication for this and fought about it for a few years but finally gave up and take them now.  It doesn’t seem to either help or not help, I really don’t know if it would be worse without them or even if they work for me.  I just take them every day.  I withdraw from friends sometime because it’s hard to always pretend.  On a positive note this depression has been getting better, maybe it is because Summer is coming. I really don’t like work because I feel like a failure.   

I had a black dog, his name was depression

The Black Dog has been bothering me lately

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” 
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Book Goal for the year

I am well ahead of my reading goal of 52 books for the year.  I sure would have liked to go to the L.A. Time Festival of Books, but parental duties call and maybe next year.  I read mostly SciFi and Fantasy. I've read 21 books so far, about 7 books ahead of schedule.  I am a member of Goodreads and the Sword and Laser book club. 

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” 
― Mark Twain

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How I Read 100 Books in a Year

How I Read 100 Books in a Year