Finals week for my second set of classes

Graduate isn't as bad as I thought it would be, but there are alot of hoops to jump through.

What I can do.

I might only be a regular person of little or no importance.

But to two little girls I can be a hero.  

Remember your two babies.

Be a good husband.

Be yourself.

Using Oblique Strategies

Using the Apple Widget for dilemmas.

Boxee

Boxee

Just got invited into the Alpha Test for this Application/Service.

Something I don't want to deal with!

Debbie just called me and told me my Mom is scheduled to have a heart valve replacement next Tuesday. With all that is going on, it's something that I just don't want to have to think about. I want forget it in the bustle of my life, and pretend it isn't happening. I know that I should go see my parents before the surgery, but I sure would like to avoid it. It's not that I don't love my parents. I don't want to see them getting old and having these problems.

Amber on the slide

Amber on the slide
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Getting so big so quick.

Hippie Izzy

Hippie Izzy
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Straight out of the Arcata bottoms with Dill Loc.

Change for the better

"Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary." Viktor Frankl

How different my life is today.

As a child I always dreamed about being a larger than life hero. My favorite author, Robert E. Howard wrote the Conan series of books about a barbarian warrior that became King. Conan's heroic stories allowed me to escape from my life. Today my life is not what I dreamed it would be.
Going to work, school and home is not the adventure of my youth. It is the adventure of a different sort, fulfilling and challenging, yet mundane. I am realizing that I am stuck in a routine that ensures failure not success. I need to change. Today I am going to try and start anew with the important people in my life, make some apologizes and make concrete efforts to be a better Husband, Father, along with all the other roles I have. I am sorry to all the people I have dissappointed, namely my wife and children. It seems like they have suffered the most from my lack of effort. I need to review what I do on a daily basis and see if it really matters when I look at the direction I want my life to take. If it really even matters at all.

Amber

Amber
Originally uploaded by carignan.

My beautiful baby, Amber.

Sync'Em | Sync'Em

Sync'Em | Sync'Em

Some interesting software that I am going to try.

Assumptions

Our minds have the need to “know.” When we don’t know, we make assumptions - they make us feel safer than not knowing. And we are pretty much always making assumptions. We assume that we know how someone is going to react to us. We assume that our efforts will or will not be successful. And not only do we believe our assumptions about what other people are thinking, but then we end up taking those assumptions personally and even end up resenting the person. To avoid assumptions, ask questions. It takes courage to trust the present moment, to allow other people to be exactly who they are, and to let life unfold according to its own plan… and it avoids a great deal of suffering.
-Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements [agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions]

Thoughts

Amber and I
Originally uploaded by carignan.

There are days when I feel so upset about what is going on in my life. It just doesn't seem like I really have anyway to fix it. Maybe the problems don't need to be fixed, but just accepted. I do have alot to be thankful for in my life, and it's not that. Maybe it's that I just have to much. I'd like to let go of some things, but it just might not ever get done, and that's something I just can't accept. I wish I had some support.

Something I should remember.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."

Benjamin Franklin

My ADHD life

My ADHD life
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Just a bit of boredom. Found on the web at Project Sidewalk.

Being myself

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." — Henry David Thoreau

Mens Restroom Palm Middle School MVUSD

Mens Restroom Palm Middle School MVUSD
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Notice the small bee decal in the urinal.

Another afternoon of meetings

Another afternoon of meetings
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Remember The Milk - Craig's Tasks

Remember The Milk - Craig's Tasks

I'm starting to use RTM for a task list. I set Debbie up with an account time will tell if I get organized enough to GTD.

Classes have started

Last night was the first night for the new term at the University of Redlands, Graduate School of Education. I am starting the second term of classes for my Masters in Counseling, PPS and Administrative credentials. It doesn't look so bad so far, but I already miss being with the girls at night. I wish I would have had the foresight to have finished this up earlier like Debbie kept telling me to do, but that's water beneath the bridge. Classes here at work are fine, and I believe that I am off to a good year. I have some very nice students. I can't say that I am very motivated to stay teaching in the classroom much longer though. It's lost it's magic for me. The kids are all that I enjoy about work anymore. I'd even have to say that my daughters, Izzy and Amber are all I enjoy at home. Well except some time alone with my dogs, Coco and Candy. Hopefully I can get a handle on some things that are bothering me, and get back to being alittle more happy, or at least excited about life. My parents aren't doing so well health wise, and I think it really weighs heavily on my mind most of the time. It just doesn't look good for the future for either one of them, and I don't know what I'll do without their constant support in my life. It's something that I always knew I could rely on whens things went bad, or I needed some advice. I've lost my temper a few times in the last couple weeks and haven't been really myself. The results of those outbursts are going to cost me alot, and I regret have allowed myself to get that angry, but again it's water beneath the bridge. I have to work at not allowing myself to get angry again. I do feel quite alone most of the time lately. With the girls I just can't get out much and I seem to be isolating myself in the house. I've also been loosing alot of weight these last few weeks, almost 15 pounds which is alot for me. I just don't feel like eating. I usually throw away most of my lunch, and have not been eating anything for breakfast. I guess I really need to start forcing myself to eat all my meals. I'm sure all of this will pass and I'll be okay. I've come out of things like this before.

Myself and Rory

Myself and Rory
Originally uploaded by carignan.

In class tonight at the University of Redlands for Graduate School.

Numbness

I feel like I just don't have any life today. Just a general numbness about my feelings. No joy or sadness. Not much of any feelings at all.

mindfulkids

mindfulkids

Something interesting for my daughters, Izzy and Amber.

Nhat Hanh

The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.

From Touching Peace, Parallax Press, 1992, p. 1

Coffee in the morning

Coffee in the morning
Originally uploaded by carignan.

One pot of French Roast every morning. Just to be on an even footing with the kids at school.

Me and my Blackberry Curve

Me and my Blackberry Curve
Originally uploaded by carignan.

A man and his toys are very hard to separate. Blackberry Curve by Verizon.

Under Pressure by Carl Honore

Under Pressure by Carl Honore
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting.

Another book by the same author. I've already bought it and am going to start when I get done with the other.

In Praise Of Slowness

In Praise Of Slowness
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Challenging the Cult of Speed

A book that I am reading today. I'm trying to slow down and enjoy my life and my family.

Home - Number Garage

Home - Number Garage

Something I might be interested in the future.  Maybe when we do away with our VOIP line and just go with our mobile phones.  

Yap

Yap

A service for your mobile phone that allows you to: instantly send text messages...just by talking! Interesting, hopefully it'll open up and I can join the beta.  Jott is now a limited free service, all good things have to come to an end.  

August Rain Storm

August Rain Storm
Originally uploaded by carignan.

It came down hard today. I'm sure glad I got my frontyard mowed in time. It didn't last very long, but it came down hard.

Starbucks with Palm

Starbucks with Palm
Originally uploaded by carignan.

It's Friday and the week just flew by. I enjoyed my week at school with the kids and CEDLT testing. I'm glad it's a three day weekend, I'll be able to catch-up on some of the chores that I haven't had time for. I wet to coffee this morning at Starbucks with some co-workers this morning. It's a weekly meeting to unwind and talk.

It's been awhile

Tonight I had dinner with a few friends and then attended my "home" meeting.  It's been almost four months since I last attended.  Between graduate school, work, and my little daughters, it's been impossible for me to attend.  Dinner was nice and I caught up on what has been going on with my friends.  I was asked to lead the meeting and it was a "Big Book" chapter meeting.  It was really nice to be back and to be able to talk to someone.  It has been very difficult at times lately and I really could have used someone to talk to about what has gone on these last few months. With school starting again in September, I don't think I'll be able to go to another meeting until December.  It'll be a longtime and I'm sure it won't be easy, but I do have some support at home and I can always use the phone.  I think I'll be making a few calls.  

My constant companion

Coco and Candy January 9th 2007
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Coco for over 14 years has always been the one constant in my life. When things changed, he always remained. The picture doesn't show how much he has aged. he is still in good shape and healthy, but he's not getting the attention he deserves anymore. Between school, work and my children, he's been sadly left out at times. I need to pay closer attention to my longtime friend, Coco.

Feeling Funny

I'm not sure that I really enjoy feeling some how not right when I take Concerta.  I feel much more relaxed but at what price.  I have my classes for the Fall and they start on September 9th.  I'm looking foreword to getting back to school.  I like going to school.  Today I administered CELDT verbal tests to ESL students all day.  It wasn't bad, a nice change from teaching.  Brittany has a boyfriend now, Ted is his name.  A fairly nice guy it seems, but like all young men, they can't ever be trusted with girls.  

Amber Laughing

Amber at home
Originally uploaded by carignan.

You can see her two bottom teeth. She has two more teeth above those.

Sabbath

We didn't go to church today which was a disappointment.  Debbie's friend, Liz had a party over at her house in Rancho Cucamonga.  It was pretty bad.  I watched Izzy or Amber during the party and pretty much waited for it to get over.  Liz's husband is a heck of a nice guy, and I really enjoy his company, but her was busy with the party.  I did go up to Bogart Park in Cherry Valley and had BBQ dinner with Jack, my friend and his family.  They have this fantastic horse trailer with living quarters.  It's is fully loaded with everything you could imagine.  After everyone ate and either left of went to sleep, we talked about things.  He said something that really made me think.  I told him that I know that I can't last 18 years in the classroom teaching and that's why it is important that I get my Counseling/Administration credential.  he said he understood that it was like being a Beat Cop at age 50.  It's funny that he thought of the job in that way.  It isn't that bad, but I don't think I'll have the energy necessary to be a good Teacher when I am that old.  I really have done anything at all this weekend and that bothers me some what.  

End of the week

It's the end of the first full week of the new school year.  I am still not sure of the kids, but I am hopeful that they will be as nice.  I have alot of things stacking up on my plate already and I really need to focus and get things cleaned up.  

Another day down

Another day this week is done and I'm glad it's almost over.  It'll be nice to go to church on Sabbath and get some work done around the house.  I'm still up in the air about my kids this year.  I do have a GATE class which can be really nice, but I also have some really low classes.  An okay mix of kids.  Time will tell how the year will progress.  I'm listening to "The Treasure of Khan" a Clive Cussler audio book on the way to work and back each day.  I've enjoyed it so far although I'm only on Chapter Two.  In the morning several co-workers are going to meet for coffee at Starbucks.  It's a weekly meeting before the meeting on Friday.  

Off to work

Off to a day of work.  I sure wish I could go to the meeting tonight, but I am pretty sure that isn't going to happen.  Debbie was up all last night working trying to catch up.  She's bound to be tired today watching the girls.  I need to make sure that she atleast gets a nice dinner.  maybe I'll order flowers for her.

The Art of Manliness

The Art of Manliness

One of the best sites on the web.  Everyone knows how manly I am.  

iamhusband.com

iamhusband.com

I should read this daily.  I love my wife, and want to be a good husband.  

Off Roading with Jason and Izzy

Off Roading with Jason and Izzy
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Izzy, Jason and I went off-roading a few weeks ago and found ourselves up in Oak Glen overlooking Rileys farm. Izzy with her beautiful grin, she knows something we don't.

Hopes Unfulfilled

I had hopes that i would start blogging on a daily basis again starting with the new school year.  it hasn't happened and it seems like I'm always busy or just too tired.  The kids have been in class for a full week as of today.  Nothing outstanding about this group, but it is still early.  I am teaching three periods of Social Studies, one GATE Social Studies class and a Communication and Publishing class.  I can't say I'm excited to be teaching again.  I miss Amber and Izzy.  We had a good Summer.  Two is alot more work than one.  Amber turned one on August 7th and Izzy turned three on July 28th.  Having two wonderful daughters is alot of work.  Debbie was gone to Florida the first week of school and both girls fell sick.   Mimi helped out alot and saved me and Debbie returned home a day early.  It was almost too much for me.  Both girls are feeling better, but I'm feeling tired alot.  I think I am lacking motivation.  I'll get over it.  The washing machine is broken and the repair man had to order parts, so that's fun.  The front screen door latch broke and I am having a tough time finding a replacement that will work, but I haven't tried that hard either.  One nice thing did happen, I bought a new Blackberry Curve this Summer.  Hopefully I can blog and Flickr from it and keep up some posting.  Darn I almost forgot, Amber took her first steps last week.  She's still not too sure of herself but trying hard everyday to be a big girl like Izzy. My friend Ryan, the Art teacher at my school is blogging again.  That is nice because at least one other person at school understands.  The University of Redlands still hasn't told me when classes begin again for my Masters program in Counseling hopefully soon so I can get done quicker.  

First Day of School

Up early this morning.  The girls are still asleep so it's pretty quiet.  I'm glad to be back to work.  I enjoy being a teacher.  We have a new Vice Principal, so we'll see how that goes.  Debbie is in Florida and I miss her alot.  Izzy slept in bed with me last night.  I don't think I would have slept well without her, she is funny how she takes up most of the bed, yet she is only three years old and tiny.  Off to get the girls ready.

New School Year

A new school year starts tomorrow.

Phillip Toledano - Days with My Father

Phillip Toledano - Days with My Father

I was sitting in the kitchen today after having the girls all alone all day.  Debbie's in Jacksonville, Florida for the week on business.  It was about 9:30 PM and I was just sitting down to have dinner.  Amber and Izzy fought getting to sleep tonight, so I wasn't able to eat at a normal time.  This link was posted by someone I follow on Twitter.  I was pretty surprised how upset I got looking through the site.  It's because the last time I saw my father was this Summer and he was in the hospital when I had to leave and come home.  It scares me that my father is getting old.  I wonder sometimes, what will I do without my Dad to talk to me.  He always tells me how proud he is of me and it makes me want to cry, because I love him so much and never felt like I quite measured up until recently.  

First post using PingFM

Montessori in Redlands - Education for Life

Thinking about sending Izzy to Montessori. Anyone have any opinions?

Montessori in Redlands - Education for Life

Flickr: kimer1849's Photostream

My sister, Kim's photographs on Flickr.
Flickr: kimer1849's Photostream

He helped me.

Who am I?  I am His son and he has given me a wonderful life.  

Amber

Amber and Izzy The Girls
Originally uploaded by carignan.

My beautiful baby.

Sabbath

Who would have thought that I'd being ironing two little girls dresses for church on Sabbath morning. It's pretty amazing how things work out. Izzy is pretty needy lately but that's to be expected. I have to make sure that I spend time with her and pay close attention to her. Amber is doing fine and I think adjusting well to our family. Brittany getting ready for final exams and in the play offs in softball. She had a good game yesterday and still had plenty of speed at the end of the game. She was awarded MVP for the CIF Victory League division 7. I am hoping that the two of us can get out for some Sushi and the opening night for the new Indian Jones movie, to celebrate her doing so well. Church was nice today, but Izzy was pretty wild so we didn't stay for Sabbath school. My friend, Jason is going to come over this afternoon and help me build some new highchairs for Amber and Izzy, then take some picture of the girls and I. Hopefully I can post the pictures later tonight.

Day Three

It's the morning of the third day since we've got our new little girl Amber Elizabeth. It's much more difficult to manage now that Izzy is feeling alittle jealous. It'll all work out but I haven't been getting much sleep. Debbie is off until July 7th and then I'll be taking over until August 16th. So the girls will be busy. Amber is beautiful and it's nice to have such a little one in the house. I do worry about Izzy though. I hope she doesn't take this too bad. She is so beautiful and smart and has really captured my heart. I love them both so very much that's painful to have to go off to work in the morning. Well it's getting to be time to leave and I still haven't packed a lunch or shaved. Everyone have a good day.

Amber Elizabeth Carignan

IMG_5673.JPG
Originally uploaded by carignan.

My new daughter, just arrived yesterday at noon. It's nice to have another baby in the house.

Amber Elizabeth Carignan

IMG_5673.JPG
Originally uploaded by carignan.

My new daughter, just arrived yesterday at noon. It's nice to have another baby in the house.

Amber Elizabeth Carignan

Amber Elizabeth Carignan
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Our new baby, 4-10-2008.

PocketMod: The Free Recyclable Personal Organizer

PocketMod: The Free Recyclable Personal Organizer

Something I'm trying out

Native Foods Vegan Restaurants: Organic, Healthy, Delicious Food!

Native Foods Vegan Restaurants: Organic, Healthy, Delicious Food!

Last night, Debbie, Britty, Izzy and I took another couple, Mimi and Dick, out to dinner. They are both Vegetarians so we decided to try this Vegan restaurant in Palm Springs. It was interesting eating Vegan, and the food was okay, but it isn't something that I'd even remotely consider. It was just odd tasting and lacked flavor, maybe I could get used to it, but I'm not even going to try. Give me a nice cut of chicken or fish any day.

Rough Day

Nothing has really gone well today. I spilled the coffee grounds this morning all over the counter and floor, not once but three times this morning. I tried to install Yellowdog Linux on an old iMac G3 500 and I just couldn't get it to install although it's a supported model. Izzy had to be kept inside all day because of the rain and nothing got done. I did get some laundry done, so atleast I feel good about that. It'll get better Tuesday.

iMantri the community for mentoring and coaching

iMantri the community for mentoring and coaching

Big Think - We Are What You Think

Big Think - We Are What You Think

Happy

“Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

New Years Day @ Disneyland

New Years Day @ Disneyland
Originally uploaded by carignan.

Debbie, Britty, Izzy and I went to Disneyland on New Years Day with friends from church and bought Deluxe Annual Passes. It was a nice day and we had lots of fun. Izzy love the Tea Cups and was exhausted when we got home.